Introduction -- The end of the world -- Tommy Chocolate -- Beware of Greeks bearing gifts -- A day in the life -- Buy the cash boys a curry! -- Anything with four legs -- No one's clean-clean -- The sheep will follow -- Escape to London -- Goodbye, Big Nose -- The call -- Crossing the Street -- "What the fuck kind of bank is this?" -- Just keep swimming -- The ballad of Diamond Bob -- The switcheroo -- The trial -- Afterword -- Epilogue: the Wild West.