Everyone wants to know the truth about the hottest celebrity hookups. Within the masculine culture of Hip Hop and Hollywood, there is a prominent gay subculture that industry insiders are keenly aware of but choose to hide. Terrance Dean worked his way up from intern to executive for more than ten years in the entertainment industry, and has lived the life of glitz and bling along with Hollywood and Hip Hop's most glamorous. In a business founded on maleness--where one's job, friendships, and reputation all depend on remaining on the down low--Dean writes a revealing account of his journey out of hiding. Full of anecdotes and true stories, this book is not a traditional tell-all. A personal and poignant memoir, it is also one of the most honest looks at stardom and sexuality.

Welcome to Hollywood -- What would you do? -- More than I can bear -- The beautiful struggle -- My life -- Money, money, money -- Déjá vu (I've been here before) -- Breakdown -- Catching feelings -- Certainly -- Between you and me -- Lost ones -- Last night -- Dirt off your shoulder -- Homie/lover/friend -- Keep moving on -- Lights! Camera! Action! -- Where the party at? -- Who can I run to? -- Momma -- So fine -- Emotional roller coaster -- Me, myself, and I -- Shake your thang -- Next lifetime -- Mr. Big Stuff -- Heaven -- Whenever, wherever, whatever -- New York, New York-big city of dreams -- If that's your boyfriend, he wasn't last night -- Money, power, respect -- This is why I'm hot -- I think they like me -- 1999 -- Hypnotize -- I need you now -- Man in the mirror -- Missing you -- Quiet storm.