"On the night of September 28, 2016, twenty-five-year-old Carolyn Bush was brutally stabbed to death in her New York City apartment by her roommate Render Stetson-Shanahan, leaving friends and family of both reeling. In life, Carolyn was a gregarious, smart-mouthed aspiring poet, who had seemingly gotten along well with Render, a reserved art handler. Where had it gone so terribly wrong? This is the question that has plagued acclaimed author Sarah Gerard and driven her obsessive pursuit to understand this horrific tragedy. In Sarah's exploration of Carolyn's life and death, she spent thousands of hours interviewing Carolyn's and Render's friends and family, poring over court documents and news media, reading obscure writings and internet posts, and attending Carolyn's memorials and Render's trial. What emerged from Sarah's relentless instinct to follow a story and its characters to their darkest ends is a book that is at once a striking homage to Carolyn's life, a chilling excavation of a brutal crime, and a captivating whydunit with a shocking conclusion"-- Amazon.

List of characters -- Author's note -- Stanhope -- Ally -- It was like I was someone else -- The news -- The vigil -- The plea deal -- Grieving giver riven river -- Day one -- The woman's club -- Day two -- Saint Petersburg, Florida -- Meeting with Hughes -- Cleaning clearing leaning learning -- Day three -- Secret Beach -- Day four (Part one) -- What to do with shitty men -- Day four (part two) -- A children's story of enchanted forest -- Day five (part two) -- Sparkies -- Day six -- In loco parentis -- Coco and sunshine -- Airsoft -- Verdict and sentencing -- The circle -- Burning the fat from their souls -- A place to call home -- The most horrible thing you can do to someone -- How to live together -- Acknowledgments -- About the author.